I want to be there, I want to be in the thick of it, I want to contribute, on any level, to a better world. But... my mind races, and too often I keep myself occupied with less than productive activities.

Being injured and without work has allowed me to settle into a routine that has kept me busy, yet has not allowed me to accomplish anything that is even worth mentioning. My day revolves around the countless hours I spend analyzing the many different scenarios I may encounter on a day to day basis and how I will be able deal with them or not... or...more truthfully, my day revolves around the countless hours I spend creating the potentially stressful scenarios I may encounter in my mind and letting them wear away at me while the rest of the world sleeps.

It is obvious that I have too much time on my hands and too many thoughts on my mind... a reality that has made finding a job so much more important than just numbers in a bank account. I need something positive to focus my energy on.

But... I am learning to find relief in the small things. I am trying not to to burden my mind with what I cannot accomplish at this moment in time and working towards embracing the number of things that I am capable of doing, and doing them as best I can.

I have wasted too many days thinking about when I will get surgery, how long it will take me to recover, and when I will be able to make my come back to MMA...I know I will make it there, it is only a matter of time. It is time to enjoy today.

And although I may not be able to make the world a better place today, I can do my best to make today better for someone else... I will make today better for someone else.... I just need to re-focus on what is truly important.

So, I am going to stop posting blogs for a couple weeks and get everything centered... after that I am going to get a job and lessen the weight I have placed on myself those around me.

I am incredibly excited for what awaits me.

Photo by Clark Little, please check out his website at http://www.clarklittlephotography.com/

Also.. if you get a minute, check out and http://symphonyofscience.com/