Over the past twenty-five years I have become quite accustomed to and thoroughly enjoy the unique changes that accompany each of Canada's seasonal shifts. I love watching the green leaves fade to brown and melt into fiery golden embers before they fall to the earth. I love watching the morning dew and frost quell these embers before they are completely extinguished by the grip of old winters hands. And even though its flowing breeze has had nothing to do with the chills that have been running up and down my spine, I still love the cool October air.

For years I have watched as one season slowly transformed into the next, knowing that this gradual demise was a necessary sacrifice on behalf of the present in oder to give birth to the future... a future that would in turn revisit its past to ensure the survival of this cycle. And although the changing of seasons could easily be interpreted as a representation of the time that I have been absent from mixed martial arts, it means so much more than that to me.

The changing of one season to the next is visible on so many different levels. Sometimes the leaves change color, sometimes the temperature gradually rises or drastically drops... certain species go into hibernation and others emerge from their slumber. Some people bravely come out of their shells while others are reluctantly forced to seek shelter. A single season can breathe inspiration into some and strangle the freedom from others.

However... I see nothing but beauty and revival when I look around, and it is everywhere.

In the next few days I am going to meet with two of the most respected surgeons in the Greater Toronto Area. Needless to say, I am more than a little excited and nervous for these appointments... the thought of what may occur in these meetings and how I will be greeted by these men has weighed heavy on my mind ever since my last unsuccessful appointment in Kingston. Due to the fact that my 'official MRI findings' were actually the speculations of a resident doctor and dismissed by the last surgeon I met with, I went to Toronto and picked up a hard copy of my MRI and X-Ray files. Fortunately the wait wasn't very long and the staff at the hospital were extremely helpful.

The events that unfold this week could quite possibly determine the course of my life throughout the next few years, I vow to enter the future with confidence... a confidence that has grown from an ember to an inferno in spite of the conditions around it... an inferno that no possible amount of dew nor frost could possibly conquer.