This may be a little all over the place, there is a lot going on right now and I haven't had time to really sit down and organize my thoughts appropriately. I apologize in advance.

Toronto has definitely been an adjustment. Since my arrival approximately one month ago, I have felt, ignored, and experienced emotions I thought, or maybe hoped to have left behind me in Ottawa.

Even though there have been reminders of past experiences scattered throughout this new landscape, I am trying my best to live in the moment. I am learning to take it one day at a time, and apart from the feeling of being alone in a city that 2.5 million people call home, I am happy.

I recently celebrated my 24th birthday. Aside from my older brother, I think this was the first birthday in the past few years that I have celebrated without the company of my family, close friends, or alcohol. Instead, I was punished for a number of hard strength and conditioning rounds in the gym, followed by a visit to Baldwin Sushi, my favourite local restaurant.

Here is a pic of my sober living lifestyle.

I also came to the conclusion that most of the maturity in my face is the direct result of unfortunate happenings rather than the aging process.

I have been training at least two times a day, 6 days a week at Xtreme Couture in Etobicoke and Xtreme Fitness, a franchise gym located a couple of blocks away from where I have been staying in downtown Toronto.

The ironic isolation Toronto offers has kept me focused on training for my upcoming fight. I spend most of my down time reading, writing, napping, and attempting to keep in contact with my friends via the internet.

Fighting has brought me closer to, and pushed me further away from a number of important people in my life. I have found it nearly impossible to maintain any type of meaningful relationship with women while remaining dedicated to this path I have chosen.

Attempting to explain to someone why I fight, and why this is the reason things between us have come to an end is one of the most difficult, yet reoccuring conversations I have had to have in my life to date. Hearing that the dedication to my craft is the reason someone cannot attach themselves to me is no easier.

Jumping around from city to city and crashing with friends along the way doesnt really create a healthy environment for a relationhip to flourish. I am in no rush to settle down for now, itll happen when it happens.

In a little over six weeks I will be fighting for the 1 contender spot in my weight class in the Freedom Fight organization. Physically and mentally I am prepared to fight today. I can only begin to imagine what shape I will be in come July 26th.

It is not the acclaim comes with this profession, nor is it the money that drives me to compete. Every fight is an opportunity to express the person behind the person without judgement, a doorway to being free to be myself.

This is why I fight.