As I sit here thinking of how to summarize the past week of my life and debating whether or not it is possible to put words to the mishaps, drama, and adventures I have experienced, there is one thing I feel the need to get out of the way as soon as possible. Losing sucks, but it is not the end of the world.

A loss is an embarassing feeling, and I can't promise that it'll never happen again. However, I can promise that I will never give up, quit, tap, or not leave my heart in the ring every time I step in there. I always knew I was not the most technical or polished fighter to step in the ring, but I pride myself on knowing that I am not an easy for fight anyone. I know what I need to work on, and will be in the gym tomorrow working on it. This experience has not been a negative one for me, or... I will not let a potentially negative situation impact me in a way that would not be conductive, something Evan and I had talked about a lot the few days he was in town, perspective, purpose, and positivity.

Close armbar in the 1st Round of my fight with Remi Morvan, my third opponent in one week.

The thursday a week out from my fight was the last day of hard sparring, I felt great. No major injuries and my conditioning was top level. Friday morning I woke up and my knee was extremely swollen, I went to the clinic and explained to the doctor that I was not sure what had caused the swelling and asked if he could help me. He said I had water on my knee and that if it got any worse to head to the emergency room. The next day my leg had become a swollen purple mess, I was worried I had picked something up at the gym and rushed to the emergency room, I spent the next two days at the hospital being seen by a number of different doctors, always explaining to them that I had a fight the following week and needed whatever had to be done in order to perform. After being told it was cellulitis (infection) and given medication, I left relieved. However, my leg continuted to get darker and swell, I went back to the hospital, and after being seen by a number of experts, I was told that I had a small tear in connective tissue and the discolouration on my leg was internal bleeding. I was told to rest and given a letter saying that I would be able to perform up to my full potential the following saturday if need be. I was excited to say the least.

Waiting in the emergency room. Did this for about 20 hours over a 3 day span. 

Picture of my leg week out from fight.

However, my troubles were not over there, the tuesday before the fight my original opponent pulled out. I had been preparing the last 9 weeks to fight this specific fighter and was incredibly disapointed. He was replaced wednesday by a fighter a weight class higher than originally scheduled, I took the fight. I also got the news that my friend Evan was going to make the trip up from California to corner me, that was a big boost.

I picked Evan up at the airport thursday afternoon and went to the mall to pick up a camera for him, we ended up getting a coffee and talked for about an hour or so. Evan is one of the few people I can really talk with, it was good to clear my head and get my mind off the fight for a little while. Evan's friendship, and company this weekend was unforgetable. There is no way to explain how having a great person, and former world champion who believes in your spirit and potential feels. Thank you again for everything Evan.

View of Parliament from our hotel balcony.

I made weight no problem, the only problem at the weigh ins was that the replacement opponent did not show. I was out of a fight, again. I was talking with the promoter behind the stage about what we were going to do when I heard my name being called, I stepped onto the stage and saw a man without his shirt on standing beside the scale, this was my third opponent in 4 days, again a weight class higher than what my fight was scheduled for. I didn't catch my opponents name at the time (Remi Morvan), but embraced him and thanked him for stepping up. A true warrior.

Myself and Remi at the weigh ins. Couldnt help but laugh at the situation.

I took Evan to my favourite Shwarama place in Ottawa and discussed what we should do, we went over a number of possibilities, and even discussed tossing a coin to determine the next step. It was at that point I realized what I had done to get this fight to happen, I had already battled a staph infection, internal bleeding and a number of opponent changes. I was there to fight. We embraced the adventure, and although things didnt go my way this time, I still feel I made the right decision.

Doing pre fight interview, it was difficult talking about Remi not knowing anything about him.

What kind of a person would I be if I took the easy way out, that isnt me. I am not a quitter. A trait that can been seen in my every day life and when I enter the ring.

The fight was entertaining to say the least. My opponent, Remi Morvan, a purple belt under the Gracie School was a gladiator, he had my respect before the fight, and even more so after. He had me in a number of bad postitions throughout our fight, I was close to finishing him in the 2nd but he held on and came back strong. The referee stopped the fight in the 3rd round when Remi had a semi rear naked choke on me, I was conscious and did not tap. I would have rather gone to sleep but the referee was the one in control and I am not one to complain nor criticize his position. Congratulations to Remi.

Defending the choke, Ref stoppage shortly after this.

After the fight I was swarmed by friends, family, and fans who all congratulated me on my performance. Unknowingly a lot of these people had built in excuses as to why I should have won the fight, or how it was a bad stoppage. Evan let me know the objective truth and told me straight up what parts of my game needed improvement and what I should do to work on them. He also told me to be proud of the good things I did do throughout the fight and how I had handled the obstacles thrown at me in the past few days . I really appreciate his honesty.

I am proud to say that I have come out of this a stronger fighter, and person. Thank you to my friends and coaches, Evan Tanner, Sam Zukula, Nick Johnson, Misha, Alin, your knowledge has helped me more than you will ever know.

Evan, Showtime, Alin.

Greg Compton, thank you for all your help mentally and physically. You really got me in the right mindset to go out there and do my thing. You are a true friend. Robin Black, what can I say. You are a friend and warrior, I am insanely proud of you. Kris Donaldson has the heart of a lion and never quit, Showtime, Stephan, Louis, Motard, Andre, everyone else who has the courage to step in the ring, I admire you. Congratulations to you all.

Compton and I going over some last minute drills in the ring.

Evan and I stayed up late saturday night, talked about the fight, motorcycles, women, and life in general, he really put a positive spin on things.We also had a lot of milk and cookies. I visited some of my friends throughout the hotel and relaxed the rest of the night.

I would like to thank everyone who picked up a Shirt and made the trip to Gatineau to support me, you know who you are. Id also like to thank my family for embracing this quest of mine and fully supporting me. Bernie, Wes, McPhail - true junkamaniacs and great friends.

Some of my friends outside the Arena.

Remi, thank you for an amazing fight, and showing me what I am truly made of as a person, and a fighter.

I WILL BE BACK. BELIEVE

http://cageplay.com/blog/ - write up about the fight.