As I cloaked a brand new blue gi over my shoulders and wrapped that white cotton belt around my waist, I knew that something was different. The smell of hard work was damp on the walls and the smacking of fists and shins against thai pads echoed throughout the change-room.

I took a minute to soak it all in…

I wet my face in the sink and stared at myself in the mirror. I knotted my belt, took a deep breathe, and stepped onto the mat for the first time in a very long time. And this time around, I stepped onto the mat as a student and as a beginner.

Although I have competed as a professional mixed martial artist in the past, I felt that it was extremely important for me to start this portion of my journey as a beginner. Having said that, I have made a conscious decision to focus solely on Brazilian jiu jitsu for now. And, more specifically, I have chosen to practice this art in a gi, which is something that I have never really concentrated on before.

A few weeks ago I started training at OAMA, a black-belt run Renzo Gracie affiliate academy in Ottawa, Ontario. After showing my dedication to the craft, I was awarded my first stipe. Last week my friend and purple-belt instructor, Nick Castigilia, presented it to me at the end of class. 

Although this is a relatively minor accomplishment in the world of BJJ, the stripe on my belt represents so much more than a piece of tape on a piece of cloth to me. It represents a step in a new direction and my evolution as a person and as a student of life.

We learn as we go. And, although we may revisit a path that we have walked in the past, every step is a new and unique one. The same sun rises in the east and sets in the west every single day, and, even though the sun will continue to do so until its beautiful glow explodes into a fiery ocean across the endless night of space, every single sunrise and sunset represents a brand new start. Every single sunrise and sunset represents a brand new beginning and a brand new end. We all change, it is our nature. And, these winds of change are necessary for us to exist in an environment of experience and education. These winds of change are the subtle hands that push us forward along our individual paths and as a collective. There is always something to learn, some way to grow, some place to go, and so many different experiences to be had.

When I put that gi over my shoulders, a weight was lifted off them. I am back where I started and I am starting again, but, this journey is nothing like my last.

Swimming with the sharks.

drowning with the sharks.