Although I have had a hard time adjusting to the way of life widely practiced and accepted in this city, Toronto is my home.

Well... at least it will be for the next few months.

As surprising as it may seem, this decision was made out of sheer necessity rather than personal comfort.

I have spent the majority of my life trying to find my place in this world, and although I strongly feel that I do not belong here, I am compelled to stay in Toronto for the time being.

This situation is not new to me. I have had the opportunity to live and train in some of the greatest cities and gyms this nation has to offer, yet, for one reason or another, I have left them all.

Only now do I realize that there is something to be gained by confronting this discomfort. These feelings would not be a continuous presence in my life if there was nothing to be learned from them.

I have tried to escape this reality for far too long.

I will find knowledge in fear, meaning in loss, and strength in solitude.

This is my path, and I refuse to run from it.

Hey everyone.

Sorry I haven't been leaving any updates lately. There have been some hard-drive and internet availability issues here. I am stealing wireless from across the park and it isn't especially reliable.

Training has been tough but is going well, I am very excited to be back. I am going to try and take some pictures of the gym and my commute today if possible.

Monday morning I am heading to Belleville to visit my brothers and then off to Kingston to see our parents for a few days. I will be training throughout the holidays at some of the old gyms I used to frequent when I lived in the area. I look forward to catching up with some old friends and putting up some new posts in the coming weeks.

Live well, laugh often, love much.

Ian

The hard-drive on my mac crashed today....and although I have only owned the computer for a short period of time, I lost a number of important picture albums, music, and blogs. 

WARNING: This entry may not flow as well as some of my past blogs, but I thought it would be interesting to post something without editing or over thinking it. 

I have been sitting at the table of my hotel room for the last half an hour trying to scribble my thoughts onto some pieces of paper I found in the room. Normally putting down rough ideas isn't  too difficult for me, but tonight something is different. I am having an incredibly hard time staying focused.

I can't take my eyes off the picture in front of me. 

The picture is of an empty park bench from the perspective of someone sitting alone. Now, maybe I am looking way too deep into a simple picture, but, I can't help but to relate to this image. It has become painfully obvious to me that although being alone has allowed me to get in touch with the man I am, and the person I aspire to be, the true beauty in life lies in the moments we can share with others...

There has been no shortage of people interested in writing stories, articles, and films bout Evan's life since his passing. Although I appreciate and understand their curiosity, I often got the impression that these individuals were more interested in meeting their deadlines than Evan's message.

Needless to say, I cut contact with the majority of these people.

However, I felt compelled to share as much as I could with those who were interested in Evan's life and message. A decision based solely on my friends belief in the eternal resonation of our words and actions as well as the significance he placed upon genuine human interaction and kindness. I can only hope that by reaching out and sharing my memories of Evan that I can somehow contribute to a better and safer world.

We'll see. 

It is no secret that staying in the gym has been something I have struggled with over the past few months. Nagging injuries and personal problems have made it extremely difficult for me to develop any sense of consistency in my training program. By stepping away from the sport for a little while I allowed myself to come to terms with a lot of things that had been bothering me and move forward. An outcome well worth a small decline in my physical conditioning. 

While I have been hitting the weight-room and training pretty steadily over the past two weeks, today marked a new beginning for me in terms of purpose and determination.

I just signed a one fight contract with W-1, a world-class organization founded in the wake of TKO. This means that I will be fighting in their first show March 28th in Gatineau, appropriated titled, 'Inception'.

Although I was looking to get back in the fight game a lot earlier than March, I am looking forward to staying in the gym and becoming a much better athlete and well rounded fighter. 

Once again I will make my return to the area that has witnessed some of the greatest highs and lows of my life...

Riding dirty...they see me bloggin', they hatin'.